Askew
by soldier for the living
Summary: Sequal to Turbulence. Trying to feel the pain he made a mess of things with Fiona but even when they repair there relationship is it strong enough to last or will it crack when things go wrong?
1. Chapter 1

I walked tentatively into his room he was staring down at his long burn the print of a knife was repeated many times. It just showed how far apart we are, I didn't even recognize the signs.

"Why?" My tired voice spoke to him, he looked up and pulled the gown down. He looked tired but I didn't care at this point.

"Tell me why you would do this Adam?" He looked down.

"I just wanted to be rid of the pain." I sighed and walked to sit next to his bed.

"What pain, talk to me Adam." I looked into his baby blue eyes that I loved. I pushed his fringe on his forehead back and just rested my hand on his cheek.

"You will only leave." I smiled at him.

"I haven't left yet have I?" He smiled at me and sighed.

"I just wanted to make my own choice, I wanted to be able to break free."

"By almost killing your self Adam, what would that of done to me, Drew or your parents? So many people love you Adam." I took his hand and saw how gaunt he looked.

"I know, I didn't mean to lose control. It was one pill then four then more. Once I took them I just went painless but I wanted to feel the pain of the burn, I wanted to know I was alive."

"There has got to be another way to do that Adam." I rubbed my thumb over his hand.

"I know, I swore I wouldn't do it again. I hated my self after the first time, I doubted my self and us and that you were falling for Adam not Gracie. I can't escape my past and its killing me." I stood and took off my heels before I laid next to him snuggling up to his good side.

"This. Us we are real Adam, I don't want it to be all lies. I want you to trust that I am falling in love with the guy. I will be there for you Adam, no one will stop us. If you ever doubt, get me I will reassure you. I don't want to be afraid anymore." I looked up at him and leaned up to kiss him.

"I don't want to be afraid either." He met me half way and his sweet lips were on mine. I pulled back when I heard a cough.

"Better straighten up mother is coming." I sat up and in the chair.

"Fiona may I speak with my son alone." I turned to Mrs. Torres and nodded. I gave Adam one last kiss before I let the family be.

"Is he alright?" I turned to Clare.

"For now. No more protecting him Eli unless its necessary." He looked ashamed of him self.

"I feel like this is my fault."

"All of us do in a way Eli, none of us noticed what he was doing." Clare and Bianca looked downcast.

"You two knew. Didn't you?" I was angry with them.

"It was his battle." Bianca protested. I was so pissed all of this could of been prevented.

"What happened if he died? Would you be able to look me in the eye and tell me that you knew the guy I love died because you kept it a secret?" I walked away to disgusted, I wanted to be away from them all.

* * *

I looked to my brother.

"Its not your fault Drew. I made a stupid choice." He nodded but did not say a thing.

"Adam, why did you do it?" I looked to my mother.

"To feel alive, it was the one thing I could control. Until I lost it." I looked down at my hands.

"Did Fiona have any part in the suicide attempt?" My mother questioned.

"No, she didn't she is the thing that kept me from pressing it to my neck." I snapped back at my mother she would get no angle to break us up.

"You know I am disappointed in you."

"I know mother, I didn't want to lie about her but I needed her, I needed another way to feel alive. I cant do that caged at home." I stared my mother down in her eyes showing her that I wasn't going to give in.

"I know that is partly my fault not letting you and Drew go but I have a right to worry. Adam you have moved from three schools in three years. I wanted to create a place that you would be safe and when you got into those fights I knew I failed."

"You didn't fail, I love Degrassi better than those other places. I have friends, but you got so worried about protecting me and failed to see that I didn't need it."

"I know but I want you to promise me three things." I nodded to my father who spoke up now.

"One have Fiona over for dinner, Two no more burning, Three come to us if it gets to much don't hide it." I nodded to my dad, knowing that if he didn't speak up my mothers punshments would of been worse, she sent him a scalding look but he just hid it.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to lose control. But I promise those three things."

"Good but your still grounded. I think a two week wait on the permit is fair."

"But that means I have to wait longer to get my license." My mother shrugged and I knew not to complain to much that I was getting off easy. I looked to Drew and socked him. He rubbed his arm and cracked a smile.

"Hey that frown on your face is making you uglier, better stop or the window will break." I told him, and he laughed and just shook his head.

"Your strange you know that right?"

"I know but I am your brother." I smiled at Drew and he smirked back.

"Better not forget it kid." He leaned over and gave me a gentle shake.

"Why would I or how could I?"


	2. Chapter 2

I walked into Degrassi and everything was normal, I got the few occasional glares and stares but I immediately saw Fiona and the rest didn't matter. I walked over to her and saw Holly J. She saw me and backed.

"Hey Fi." I turned to look at her and she looked angry.

"They knew, all this time you were losing control." I pulled her arm.

"Can we not fight here, in front of everyone." I knew I should of stayed home another day but she yanked her arm away.

"Oh so this is also another inconvenience to you too, just like you couldn't tell me." I sighed. Her voice was rising and I didn't want all the people staring to get the latest gossip on us.

"I knew how you would act, that's why I didn't tell you. Only Bianca knew."

"But why her! Why couldn't you just think that I wouldn't leave." I turned around but she grabbed my shoulder and forced me to face her.

"You just got back from rehab, I didn't want you to see how screwed up I am. You were on the right path I didn't want you to relapse because of me." I whispered feeling more vulnerable than I ever have.

"Isn't that my choice?" She was still yelling at me and it was pissing me off.

"Just like it was mine not to tell you. I never lied to you Fiona." I was angry and we were in each others face.

"No but you refused to talk about it."

"Your one to talk! You refused to talk about your drinking, you lied to me when you said you loved me. I had to deal with you not wanting to see me. God dammit Fiona you are my world. I didn't want to lose it!" I shouted at her and she backed. I reached out for her knowing I just said the stupidest thing I could of.

"You might of already did." She turned.

"Fiona... Fiona!" I shouted after her but she just walked off with Holly J. I slammed my fist into the locker next to me.

"Damn it." I stopped my self from beating the locker again and I ran my hand through my hair. I didn't need the clip or the burn to know I am alive, her walking away did that for me.

"Whats wrong young grasshopper?" I turned to look at Eli before I beat the locker some more.

"She walked away, found out that everyone knew but her." Eli put a hand on my shoulder to stop my pacing.

"Adam she is angry right now."

"She is beyond that." I looked to him sadly, I knew I screwed up and said some stupid things.

"Well video games is my remedy." I smiled at his attempt to cheer me up and I nodded, that did sound good.

"Alright." I dreaded that I had to go to art now with Fiona. I walked to class and saw her sitting in the back, no one else was here yet.

* * *

I had walked with Holly J to the memorial Garden and sat down on the bench.

"That Jerk. I can't believe him." I paced listening to the sounds of my clicking heels on the cement.

"Fiona sit down." I glared at Holly J who just looked cross with me and I sat next to her.

"Why would he say that, Jesus I am falling in love with him. I just can't think what if he would of died. Why would he not tell me?" I stared at my nails picking at them.

"Because he is falling in love with you Fiona, the last thing he wants is to seem weak infront of you. Yes everyone knowing before you sucks, but you can sit here and be mad at him, or forgive him like he forgave you. He is not like Bobby." I gave her a glare at the mention of that name.

"I know.. I know you hate that name but think of it from his point of view, you can't change the past only can you change the future. You can break both of your hearts or you can suck it up knowing that no relationship is easy." I leaned over to hug Holly J times like this I wished Declan was home and with me. But I knew if I went off to be with my brother that my heart would be left behind.

* * *

"I'm sorry." I sat down next to her she put her pencil down.

"For what now Adam?" Her tone was clipped and cold.

"I know you wanted to know and that you didn't want this hidden from you."

"I could of helped you." I shook my head.

"No, I couldn't help you with the drinking and you couldn't help with the burns. They are mistakes we made. I know you care for me Fiona and I know I haven't been exactly forward with you. I don't want you to hate me for not telling you but I didn't want to go back on my promise. When I broke it I was disgusted with my self. I didn't want to see disappointment in your eyes." She turned to me.

"You make it hard for me to be angry with you." I smiled and laughed.

"I'm just hurt that you didn't trust me enough to tell me." I took her hand.

"I did trust you, but after the first time, I was losing control. I remembered how good it felt to feel the pain." She looked at me shocked.

"Feels good to feel pain?" I shrugged and looked at her like I was sorry.

"When you go through as much as I have, you lessen to pain. Become stronger." She sighed and laid her head on my shoulder.

"Next time tell me when something is wrong. I hate feeling out of the loop." I nodded and kissed the top of her head.

"I will tell you anything you want from now on. I like you Fiona and I don't want this to end like that."

"I know neither do I." We sat there in silence until the room filled up, she was slightly reserved but I was fine with that. I would do what ever it took to have my princess trust me again.


	3. Chapter 3

We sat around drinking coke and very interested in our game. Eli and I were currently evenly matched in. I moved my guy around the barricade and saw Eli.

"Boo ya. I win again." I grinned to Eli who had a frown on his face. I punched him in the arm.

"Come on man, its one game out of twenty you've beaten me in?" He looked up and I saw he was grinning.

"You are to gullible." I laughed and hit him with his pillow. I shook my head and put the controller down.

"So how are things with Fiona?" I sighed and stared at the ceiling.

"How did I know you were going to ask? Things are alright. I almost told her I loved her the other day but for some reason I stopped my self." His jaw dropped and I smirked at him.

"You love her?" I shrugged, I knew I felt strongly for her and that I would do anything for her. The whole love thing was a foreign concept to me.

"Yeah I mean I know its fast but..." I searched for the words that would make him understand where I was coming from.

"Adam, just be careful what your getting your self into." I hated his warning tone, he was no expert on these things.

"You don't think I want to move with caution."

"I know you do, but sometimes its not smart caution you follow with."

"Eli your doing the overprotective thing again." I grounded out he held his hands up in surrender and I sighed, he was my bro and I couldn't be mad at him, we just turned back to our games but our minds were else where.

* * *

"What do you think the blue one or the green one?" I turned the dresses around admiring them, which one I wanted to wear I didn't know.

"Isn't this just for a date with Adam?" I turned to Holly J. She wasn't so supportive of me being with Adam especially after recent events that still chilled me to think about.

"Yeah, your point?" She sighed. I knew she mean't well but I didn't need a keeper telling me who I could be with.

"Just you two are getting to attached, soon your off to college and he will still be at Degrassi." I sat down, and laid the dresses in my lap.

"I know that but if Declan stayed and all that stuff didn't happen would you two still be together?" I had always hoped those two would work things out.

"I don't know, all I do know is we couldn't survive distance. I just don't want to see you go through with that." I looked at her. She had a point, but at this point I knew I would try with everything I was to stay with Adam no matter if we were thousands of miles apart.

"It won't change how I feel Holly J, You can't fight it. I know I don't want to lose Adam." She sighed and picked up the blue dress, I smiled.

"Don't say I didn't warn you." I rolled my eyes at her.

"Don't tell me ten years down the line that I was right." She looked shocked.

"You see him that much into your future?" I shrugged and zipped up the dress.

"I am no seer its just what I want. I see him and its like everything is right." I let my hair out of its clip and pool in curls around my shoulders. I spun around.

"So how do I look?" Holly J just shook her head.

"You will knock him speechless." I smiled and hugged her before she grabbed her purse and left. I walked around the condo nervous, it wasn't our first date but I didn't know where we stood in our relationship.

* * *

I knocked on her door and it instantly flew open. My jaw hit the floor again, she had a way to stun me.

"Wow, beautifuler by the hour." I grinned at her and handed her a dozen yellow roses.

"There beautiful Adam." I smirked and she kissed me on the cheek.

"As much as I love that dress tonight I figured we would camp out under the stars." I held up a basket full of food nervous. She just smiled and grabbed her coat.

"If I get cold I have a personal heater." She gave me a saucy grin and I felt my mouth go dry. I took her hand and began to walk down to the park. She kept close to me and I felt like I was on top of the clouds. I set the blanket down before I pulled out the food that my mother managed to keep hot.

"Hope you like it." I handed her a plate and she took a few tentative bites before she smiled.

"Its great, thank you Adam." I smiled and put down my plate. I had to know where this was going before I led my self farther. She said she would be there for me to reassure me when I doubted.

"Is something wrong?" I looked into those cool blue eyes I loved.

"Where is this going? What are we doing to each other?" I saw her place her food down too and a small frown appear on her face.

"I don't know. I know where I want this to go but are you the same?" I gently took her hand and tilted her face so she was looking at me.

"I know that I want to be there for you. That I want to be able to call you my girlfriend and be proud of you." I tried to show her not only with my words but my emotions as I leaned down to kiss her softly.

"I want the same thing too." I smiled and leaned my forehead on hers. At least we were on the same page.


	4. Chapter 4

I sat on the steps waiting for Fiona. The day was a bit cold and I just pulled my sweatshirt closer.

"Torres." I turned to look at Bianca. She looked impatient today, I just rolled my eyes and looked away.

"Wheres your brother?" I turned back to her again.

"Don't you know isn't he your boyfriend?" I snapped at her, I was in a foul mood right now and was just wishing that she would go away.

"What ever just remember who kept your little secret." I stood.

"Good load of shit that did me." She crossed her arms and eyed me over before shaking her head.

"PMS much?" She laughed before walking away, I sat down and gripped at my hair, how could see through me? She didn't know a thing about me, I was angered by her stupid remarks. I didn't know what Drew saw in her.

"Trying a new look Adam?" I turned to that joyful voice and gave her a tight smile. Great she had to see me like this, is she going to see through me to?

"Not so much." I tried to flatten my hair and stood to give her a quick kiss.

"I have a few things to do this morning Fi, can I just meet you at lunch?" She eyed me. I just wanted to be alone for a few minutes and ignore the faint annoyance that is bothering me right now.

"Anything you need to talk about?" I sighed and put up a facade.

"No I am great now that I know you are here.. I just have things to do." She nodded and I gave her another quick kiss before rushing off to the bathroom.

* * *

I saw him walk away and was instantly annoyed, and I knew who would know what was going on. I walked towards the ballroom knowing that Bianca would be waiting for Drew. I walked in and saw them in heavy make out mode. I rolled my eyes and tapped Bianca on the shoulder, she just flipped me off. I coughed loud and annoyingly and the both looked at me.

"Coyne you better have a good reason for this." She ground out. I smirk she was definitely feeling some effects but I ignored her and turned to his brother.

"What is up with Adam, he was trying to pull his hair out or something this morning." Drew sat up.

"He was excited but a bit crabby when we came in." He turned to Bianca who was checking her nails.

"What?" She looked at both of us. Clearly she was apart of the issue at times I really disliked her, but had to bare her just because she was with Drew.

"What did you say to my boyfriend?" I practically spellt out for her. She rolled her eyes.

"Wheres your bother?" She smirked at me and Drew raised an eyebrow at her.

"What else?" I pressed further.

"What am I supposed to know? That tranny is always flipping out about something. He was getting all snappy with me and I told him PMS much?" I growled at the girl who stood up.

"Why would you say that to him, do you just go round being bitchy or does it come that way naturally?" I challenged her. I knew he hated anything that resembled him being a girl.

"You know nothing of a hard life Fiona, you wouldn't sitting in your condo Mommy and Daddy pay for." She spat at me and stood from her spot on Drew's lap.

"Well at least I don't go and let people get killed because I have no heart." I said sarcastically and as sweet as I could.

"I could mess you up right here and now. Is that what you want Coyne." I began to pull my hair back, I never fought but if she wanted a show she would get one.

"Bianca back down." I turned to the angry voice and saw Adam in the doorway.

"Oh so now you come to defend her?" I smiled at him but he just ignored everything.

"No, I am not defending either one of you. Fiona, I told you I had things to do. Eli wanted me to work over the script. Bianca, I am no tranny. Oh and Drew thanks for stepping up here." We all looked at him shocked he was never assertive. He shook his head at me and began to walk away I met him in the hall.

"Adam!" He turned slowly and looked at me.

"Fiona, I don't want to deal with the bull shit today please. I will meet you at lunch." He spoke calm and cool but I knew he was angry.

"I'm sorry I just wanted to know why you were in a bad mood." He grabbed my wrist lightly and led us to the handicapped bathroom.

"I don't need you following my every move."

"I was just curious cant I be since I am your girlfriend? I just wanted to know if it was something I could of helped with to make you in a better mood this relationship is two ways." I was getting angry at him, I crossed my arms and watched him pace.

"Yeah but you confronting Bianca would of led to a fight and I don't want to see you get hurt. She pissed me off this morning and I overreacted big deal." I stopped him.

"It was the comment huh?" He turned to me and looked sheepish.

"Adam it happens to everyone." At times I forgot physically he was a girl.

"No it doesn't and we aren't talking about this. I will see you at lunch." He gave me a quick kiss but I felt like shit.


	5. Chapter 5

I had turned the corner and wanted to see Fiona, I was a jerk earlier in the week and I felt bad. I rounded the corner and found Owen had a hand on her wrist gripping it.

"Get away from my girl you baboon." He turned and smirked. His grimy hand grabbed her face and I sprinted to them. I threw my weight into Owen knocking his grasp from Fiona and taking him to the ground. I grasped his throat with my hands.

"I said get away, now I am saying stay away." I all but growled at him, I pushed my self from him and went to Fiona.

"Are you alright?" I searched her eyes but she just nodded feverishly. I sighed and went to hug her but I felt my body being propelled towards the lockers and the air knocked out of me when I slammed into them. I felt his hot nasty breath on my ear.

"I get what I want. Watch your back Torres or I will come for you instead. You probably make a hot girl." I shoved him away and he walked with a malicious smirk on his face. Fiona rushed to my side as I slumped angrily against the lockers. I just held her tight as I tried to calm down, I hated her seeing my angry side.

* * *

I knew he was angry but as I made my way to him the second I was in his arms I felt safe. Owen was being a jerk and scared me but not as much as seeing an angry Adam. He was so sweet and caring.

"Hey it was nothing, I'm Ok." I reassured him, he just smiled and held me tighter.

"I know. But he wont stop and I fear for you Fiona." I ran my hand over his shoulder and down his arm . His fingers interlaced with mine. He looked down at my face and I saw the caring boy I was falling in love with.

"You know I love you Fiona." I smiled, and my heart skipped a beat.

"I love you too Adam." His face broke out into the greatest smile and I knew the best part of my day was that smile.

"You know the best part of my day is when you smile." I told him, he smirked and stood pulling me with him but never loosing his grip.

"Really?" I nodded from where I rested my head on his shoulder.

"Just seeing you makes me smile." I laughed and we made our way from the school.

"Come over just for a bit?" I asked while pulling the puppy dog eyes.

"Maybe just for a few hours my mom wanted me home for god knows what." I laughed and we got into the waiting cab that took us to my condo.

* * *

She fidgeted with her keys and I followed her in. She took off her coat and I slipped my backpack off my shoulders.

"Just wait a moment, I want to get out of these uniforms." I smiled and heard her door click shut. I pulled out my phone.

_At Fiona's cover with mom for me?_

_**Sure bro but you owe me.**_ I slipped my phone back into my pocket and saw her come out, she was wearing a simple top and a pair of jeans. She looked beautiful, so simple. She sat next to me on the couch.

"Hey you." I laughed she was talking like she hadn't seen me all day, it was just a few minutes.

"Fi." I ground my teeth when I felt my phone go off and saw it was my mother calling. I looked to Fiona and she sighed.

"Mom?" I answered.

"Dude you have one hour she went out, but you got to be home." I sighed.

"Thanks Drew." I shut the phone and looked at her.

"Looks like our time is limited, I got less then an hour. Sorry princess." She just shrugged and looked at me.

"So Torres what are you going to do with that time?" Her voice was soft and she looked at me so sure.

"Well I could kiss my girlfriend but..." I trailed off and leaned in kissing her cheek then the other before moving to her nose, eyes and forehead. She kept having this little giggle that was infectious that by the end I was laughing my self I looked into her eyes and covered those soft red lips with mine, moving them in time as I tasted her vanilla lip gloss. My tongue seeked entrance and slowly I began to lose track of time it was nothing but the beauty in my arms. I pulled away and growled when my phone went off.

"What?" I snapped into the phone.

"Adam! How dare you talk to me like that, you should have been home an hours ago." I sighed and saw I lost track of time.

"Sorry got caught up in a game with Eli, I will be home in a few minutes."

"I sent Drew to pick you up." I sighed.

"Of course you did."

"What did you say?" I wanted to yell at my mothers annoyance but I heard a knock on the door.

"I think Drew is here I will see you soon." I closed the phone and stood.

"Sorry princess but mother is a little on edge." I sighed and kissed her one last time.

"See you at school?" I turned to her at the door.

"You know it Fi." She nodded and kissed me softly before pushing me towards the door with a little reluctance.

"Adam hurry up!" Came Drew's impatient voice through the door, we laughed at him as I opened the door and he fell through.

"That's for not covering."

"I did but I told you to come home two hours ago. You know how mom is since the incident." I stiffened at the mention of my suicide attempt three months ago. I felt Fiona's hand on my shoulder and her warm inciting breath hot on my neck.

"Don't let it get to you." As she pressed a searing kiss to my cheek she literally left me breathless. I left the condo with my brother in tow and a silly grin on my face.


	6. Chapter 6

Owen slammed into me for the hundredth time in Gym. I just ground my teeth and kept walking.

"Hey Torres what do you think if I stole one kiss from that hot girl of yours?" He taunted, his taunts kept coming daily but I kept them from Fiona.

"Go to hell Owen." I ground out angrily. He grabbed my arm.

"Now is that a way to treat me tranny? I can make her life hell." He whispered to me. I shook him off and walked to my brother.

"Is he at you again?" I knew Drew was concerned but this was my fight.

"Its nothing Andrew lets go we will talk about this later."

"That's it hide behind your brother or is it Fiona's skirt your hiding behind." She didn't need the insults the bastard was just jealous that I had her when he didn't.

"Yet it is rumored she is a lesbian, so that would work out in your favor." He smirked and that was the last time I wanted to hear his mouth say anything.

"You bastard." I roared at him as I tried to lunge at him but I was held back by Eli and my brother. KC jumped in front of me I was seeing red and wanted nothing more to wrap my hands around his neck and squeeze the last bit of life from him. I stared KC directly in the eyes.

"Stop Adam, Fiona hates seeing you like this. Relax he wants you to hit him, he wants that rise. Don't fall to his tactics." I struggled against them.

"I am sick and tired of him insulting Fiona and I. She doesn't need it. He is just jealous that I have her."

"So keep her, don't fight you will lose her." I turned to the door and saw Bianca strolling in.

"What is going on here boys?" My friends loosened the slack on me and watched her saunter up to us.

"Nothing B, tranny here has an issue with his girl. Say B how about you get with a real man and dump Torres." My brother growled and we watched Bianca saunter up to Owen dragging one of her manicured nails across his chin. She pulled her hand back and slapped him hard. The echo of the skin to skin contact was heard clearly.

"He is a real man, knows how to treat me to." Drew jumped when we saw Owen raise his hand and hit Bianca hard enough to knock her down. Eli looked to KC and they both let us go. To say the least it was an unfair fight, he got in a few good punches. I landed one good kick to his face to leave him unconscious.

"Go near her and I will do damage Owen." I wiped the blood from my lip and saw Drew tend to Bianca. She was a fighter, but he crossed the line.

"Ok there grasshopper?" I nodded at Eli.

"Yeah hopefully he will leave her alone now." He slung his arm around me and walked from the gym. I opened the main sets of doors and she was still here.

"I was looking for you Adam." She stood and slowly she looked me over seeing my disheveled appearance. She walked up to me and traced my lip.

"What did you do now?" Her tone was firm and border line angry.

"Nothing."

"It isn't nothing Adam, you fought didn't you?" Her hands were on her hips and her tone was scolding.

* * *

His guilty eyes gave it away. I turned from him and he ran after me.

"Fi stop." He sounded so desperate that I actually did.

"You know I don't like seeing you fight." His shoulders visibly slumped and I walked up to him.

"Tell me Adam why did you fight?"

"It doesn't matter." His tone was firm and I knew it was all I was going to get out of him. He once again was keeping me in the dark.

"Come get me when you feel like talking. Otherwise, we are taking a break."

"That's not fair Fiona." I was angry when I turned to look at him.

"You know whats not fair, being in love with you and you not telling me anything. How am I supposed to trust you. How am I supposed to know you won't turn out like the rest of them. The Adam I know is sweet and caring, not an untrusting liar." I shouted at him poking him.

"If it meant keeping you safe I would lie every time." What was he talking about? He was going crazy.

"Safe from what? I don't know what you are talking about because you don't tell me these things." I shouted at him.

"He wants you in the way I can't have you. He taunts me everyday with a new way to get under your skirt. At one point we all snap and that was my point." I backed he was talking about Owen, I had seen the overgrown man dress me down with his eyes and it creeped me out. But he never said anything to me.

"What has he been saying?" I wanted the truth, I wanted Adam to stop hiding what he knew. I saw him look down cast and I knew it was about the lesbian part that happened a while back. I gently took Adams chin and forced his eyes to look at mine all I wanted him to see was the love I held for him.

"Adam, I love you. You please me in every way that matters, I won't leave you." He shook his head.

"Please just leave the horrors for my ears. He wants you, weather it is forcibly or willingly." I knew this was hard for him being transgendered.

"You are more of a man then he ever will be."

"I'm not a man though, I can't please you like one." I sighed.

"We will cross that bridge when we are ready. Adam I love you but I can't go there yet." He nodded and I knew he was going through one of his episodes.

"Come over my place?" I gently grasped his arm, his blue eyes looked up. It was Friday and we had the weekend ahead of us. He turned and there was a brief nod between brothers and I took his hand.


	7. Chapter 7

Three weeks had gone by and no further attempts from Owen that I saw. I figured he had gotten embarrassed enough and finally learned to leave well enough alone. Either Holly J, Adam or Drew were always around me. I wanted to do something special for Adam for our six month coming up. I wasn't normally one who liked anniversaries but with him it seemed like we came through so much to get to where we are now. I needed to get away from everyone just for a few hours later tonight to go to the photo shoot. I knew he would love what I had planned, nothing risque but he would enjoy them at least I hoped. I walked down the hall.

"Hey princess." I smiled as Adam caught up tonight.

"Hey you." We stopped and shared a brief kiss which Mrs. Oh just turned away from with a small smile on her face. He grabbed my books and I wrapped my arm around his free arm.

"So are we hanging out tonight?" He asked and I sighed. I loved spending all our time together but I wanted to go get his present out of the way.

"No I have things to do tonight." He nodded and said something of going to hang with Eli instead. I was glad he wasn't ignoring one friend.

"Don't you have rehearsals tonight anyways? Eli's play can't be far off." He smiled and perked up at the mention of the play. I just laughed along as he went into an animated tale of the latest woes of the play. I shook my head and he let me go saying he would see me later. I just rolled my eyes as he ran into his brother with that dreamy little smile I loved. He brother smiled at me and slung an arm around his brother dragging him off.

* * *

The sound of breaking glass stopped her. She cautiously turned around, slightly afraid of what could meet her sight. When Fiona turned she came faced with a person whom she didn't wish to see.

"Owen."

"What a cold greeting from such a hot woman." Came his slurred speech, he obviously was drunk. She turned in her heels and the click of heel on cement grew rapid as she tried to walk fast away from the one man scared her and Adam. She looked over her shoulder and saw him stumbling after her. She slipped and started to fall but someone caught her. She looked up into stone cold gray eyes of an elder man. He helped her up but this gave the drunken man enough time to catch up. The man who caught her had to be mid fifty early sixties.

"Fiona, get over here now." The speech has only progressively gotten worse as he took another sip of the foreign substance in the dingy brown paper bag.

"Sir, I think its best if you go home and call her in the morning." Spoke the man next to me.

"I think you should get your hands off of my girl." She knew the moment she ran into him he was out of sorts.

"Owen, leave. In the morning when your sober you will regret this." She tried to speak reason, while hiding the obvious fear she now felt. The elder man began to lead her away but Owen had other plans and threw the bottle at the elder man, knocking him out. Fiona backed she didn't know what to do. She didn't want to leave the man who had been kind but she didn't want to be near the drunken monster. She knew she should of canceled the shoot today, but it was going to be a surprise for Adam and that won out in the end. She pulled her skirt down lower to make sure Owen did not get any view of her. She tried to shake the slumbering man but he wouldn't wake. She felt a hard slap to the side of her face from that cold hard hand and the smell of alcohol as Owen fell on top of her. Fiona wondered why no one was around seeing as it wasn't that late yet. She tried to shove the big drunk man off of her but his lips crushed hers a little to violently and a tear escaped her eye. She had hoped that she would never been abused again but no one was here to help her. She tried to kick at him but that just resulted in him grabbing her leg forcefully and she bit back the scream she wanted to let out due to the pain he is causing on her thin frame. She threw her fist at his face but it made no impact. She was to scrawny and weak. The man next to her began to stir. She screamed out.

"Help!" As a dirty hand clamped over her mouth. Warm hot breath made her shiver as it got closer to her ear.

"You are mine, bitch. That tranny isn't here to help you now" With that he slapped her. Another tear fell from her eye. She had to get away, do something, she wished she had listened to Adam before they got into the fight he was right, Owen was up to something. She knew if she didn't get away soon what would happen next and she was not going to get violated like that, or so she hoped. All of a sudden it felt as if December had descended upon them and it was no longer September. She just let the tears fall, as she felt her coat being opened. No matter how hard she struggled he had a firm hold on her. Fiona felt his hand roam and now she was practically sobbing. She faintly began to wonder why life was so cruel. What did she do to deserve this. The elder man came around and shoved Owen off of her. But the damage was done. On the side of the street she curled her self up and let the sobs rack her body. She felt someone drape her coat over her frail frame. Then she felt someone gently pick her up but she just gave up and gave into the darkness.

Hours later, Fiona woke on a stiff bed and saw she was in the hospital. The images of Owen flooded her brain and she knew she would never be the same. She looked to her side and there sat a tear stained Adam.

**A.N- Put the pitchforks away! I know it was a horrible thing to write but it all comes together in the end.**


	8. Chapter 8

I sat in my room, Fiona was a shell of the person I loved. I was so angry with Owen that not even jail time would help, he destroyed the one person I found solace in. I picked the weight off of the ground and threw it through the window.

"Damn it." I shouted angrily at the shattered glass. I knew I should be at the hospital with her, but she couldn't even look me in the eye. She had her brother and mother. I dragged my tired body to the showers to clean my self. I let the water pour over me and scald my body, it was the closest thing I could get to a burn. That first minute when the hot water punishes my body do I feel alive, in a world where everything is right.

"Time to go home Adam." I heard my brother call. I shut the shower off and stared at my self in the reflection.

"Hey you Ok?" I turned to Drew and finished dressing.

"How can I be, it should have been me. I can take it, but I fear she can't." He came over to me.

"She is strong like you Adam, don't leave her. No matter how much she wants you gone, stick by her side, be her prince."

"I don't know how anymore, I feel so helpless." He nodded and wrapped me in his arms. I let the tears I had been hiding all week fall.

"I want to kill him, I want him to pay for what he did to her." He held me by my shoulders and stared me down.

"I know you are angry at him, nothing will ever fix or change what he did to Fiona. The only thing you can do is help her move on." I nodded and wiped the remaining tears away. He drove us home.

"Adam how are you?" My mother cared about Fiona and I since she saw there was no way to stop me from falling in love.

"Fine mother." I just walked up the stairs trying to find some normalcy.

"Adam" I heard my mother call a few minutes later, I walked to the steps.

"Its Laura Fiona's mother, she wants to speak with you." I shook my head and I gave my mother a grateful smile when she told her I was busy. I sat at the top of the stairs and listened down below.

"_I'm worried about your brother." _

"_I know mom, he has to come to terms on his own."_

"_Why wouldn't he take the call?"_

"_He is afraid, angry. Stubborn."_ I moved from the spot into my room gently shutting the door, I laid on my bed I scrolled through the photographs of her and I and wondered if I would ever see that angelic smile again. I looked at the calendar, May 6th . Our sixth month was today. I picked up the phone and got her voice on the voice mail.

"Hey babe, I know I am the last person you want to see from or hear but I wanted to say happy six month even though it is anything but happy. I wish you were safe in my arms, I love you Fiona Anne Coyne." I closed the phone and drifted off to an easy sleep.

* * *

Someone shook me awake.

"Fiona?" I mumbled, I wiped my eyes to see a smirking Holly J. I just buried my face in my pillow.

"Oh no you don't romeo, you are getting up and seeing her. You missed a big day yesterday." I rolled over trying to succumb to the darkness yet again but I felt her drag me off the bed and my head hit the floor with a thud. I stood and rounded on her. She looked scared, my brother rushed over to me and held me.

"Adam what is wrong with you?" He searched my eyes but every time I woke up I had no outlet for my anger. I shoved my fist into my brothers gut and soon we were on the floor hitting each other, he pinned me down and I started to taste blood in my mouth.

"You cool now dude?" He shouted in my face. I just nodded and he let me up.

"What was that Adam?" I looked to Holly J who looked shocked.

"He had to let the anger go at some point HJ lets go down stairs and let rocky get dressed." I walked to my closet and threw on a clean pair of clothes before I made my hair lay flat. I looked at my brother who was icing his eye but he was smiling.

"Did you fight your brother?"

"Yes." I told my mother straight up.

"Why?" I clenched my fists and beat the demon away.

"Why? The love of my life is injured, I couldn't protect her. It should have been me and every time I wake up I am pissed that he didn't get enough."

"Enough what Adam?" My mother looked at me concerned.

"Punishment for his actions. You know what that could of done to her? The emotional scars that it left but the physical. I cant fathom to think what is next, what more she has to go through."  
"Adam you can't take all her pain." I shook my head and Holly J.

"I wish I could, I wish I could feel her pain everyday if it meant she was safe and happy." She came over to me and hugged me.

"Being with you makes her happy." I shook my head.

"Why, I can't protect her Holly J. I can't be the man she needs me to be." She pulled back and looked me in the eye.

"So are you going to sit here and let her wait for you? Or are you going to step up and try to be the man she needs you to be?"

"I don't want to fail."

"Go see her Adam that is final." I turned to my mother who just gave me an order and I walked out side to see a government car parked there.

"I can't face her family." Holly J just dragged me into the car I looked up front and came faced with her twin.


	9. Chapter 9

I faced her brother and he gave me a smile.

"I wish we could of met under better circumstances. My sister talks a lot about you, I am glad she found someone who makes her happy." I turned away, who knew what I would do to her now.

"Adam, this is hard on all of us. I want you there for my sister, I know that she is going to be stubborn we both know how stubborn she is." I smiled and laughed, all the pity fights we had just because we were both stubborn.

"Did he..ya know?" I was trying to address the five hundred pound gorilla in the room.

"We don't know, she still has to get the results. That's why my mother and I wanted you there today, the results would be in." I shook my head.

"I don't know if I can be there for that." He stared me down with his penetrating green eyes.

"Adam I will tell you this once. Fiona is going to need you, I don't care what issue you have but if you truly loved her you will be there for her." I nodded and we stepped into the hall way. I looked through the blinds at my princess. She looked so broken. I knocked on the door frame and she looked up at me.

"Hey princess." She smiled at the nickname but she started to cry. I went to her but was afraid to touch her. I put my hand on her shoulder and she just turned into my chest.

"Shhh, Fi. I'm right here." The doctor stepped into the room. I stood and he looked among us.

"Fiona is there anyone you want to leave right now?" She looked to me but I showed her love and conviction in my eyes. Then she looked past me.

"Drew, Holly J give us a minute." They nodded and left.

"We have the results from the pregnancy test, I am sorry to say it was positive." I clenched my fists and wanted to hit the wall but looking at a crying Fiona broke my heart.

"There are many options for you." She nodded and looked to me. I just held my jaw straight. The doctor backed from the room.

"This all of this was for you. I went out for you." she roared at me.

"Fi."

"Don't you Fi me, get out. Now!" I backed from the room and the last thing I heard were her sobs. I let the tears fall and saw Drew and Holly J look at me worriedly.

"What happened?"

"She is a mother to be. She doesn't want to see me, its all my fault."

"Adam." She said.

"Don't this is your fault, you made me come. I knew this would happen! Screw all of you." I turned and ran past my brother and called someone I never wanted to.

"Bianca?"

"What Adam?"

"I need the alcohol."

"I'll come get you." I closed the phone and saw her car pull up ten minutes later. I slipped into the seat and heard the tires squeal on the pavement as we took off.

* * *

I couldn't do it, I couldn't look the man I loved in the eye anymore. I was having a monsters child, the one slap in the face, the one thing we could never have together. I cried into my brothers shoulder. I hated how much I have cried this past month.

"Why did you send him away Fiona?" I looked to my brother.

"Its the one thing we can't have. The one thing I wanted with him."

"He loves you, wants to be there for you. He feels so helpless."

"You don't think I don't? I was the one raped for god sakes. He is not the victim here." I shouted at my brother.

"I know that Fiona, but you need to let him in."

"Hes broken, I am further broken why would he want me?"

"He loves you. He doesn't care how broken you are, he wants to help." I nodded knowing my brother was right. But when he came back in he looked grave.

"Whats wrong?"

"He's gone."

"I told you were wrong." I laid back down and rolled over and looked at my stomach. Did I want to kill the child growing in me? It still was another part of me I would be killing.

"Fiona we stand by you in every decision you want to make." I nodded to my mother.

"I don't know what to do." She pressed a kiss to my forehead and I just looked out to the gray skies.

* * *

I tipped the bottle back and she looked at me with concern.

"Adam, maybe you should give me the bottle back." I kept it out of her reach.

"You know whats wrong with woman? They toy us along and then when we do everything for them, they break our hearts. That's why we live by our brain, to save the pain." She shook her head at me.

"You know I am right, you keep it from my brother. The pain you deal with, I see it, know it. He loves you, and you keep the one thing from him that keeps you from being safe. I know what your father does Bianca." She snatched the bottle from my hand.

"You know nothing."

"Oh but I do, and that scares you. I know you don't want my brother to know. You are scared because we are more alike than you want to admit. You know soon that your path will be the same as mine. It will spiral out of control. You know in the end, it will be you and your self alone. There is never anyone there for you Bianca and there never will be." I felt her hand slap me across the face.

"Adam, you are a fool. You are throwing away the one person who you should be fighting for. You are such a damn idiot to not see she is crying out for you." I laughed at her.

"Real funny B. She doesn't want me." I turned and saw her friend Ray.

"Adam we are leaving." She tried to drag me into the car but I easily broke free.

"You, your friends with Owen."

"So what?" I leaned a punch into his face and felt his fist connect with my face rattling my impaired brain. I felt Bianca pull me back.

"What the hell is that for?" I just shrugged.

"Adam Michael Torres." I turned to my mothers shrill and knew I was busted.

"Hey mom." I said with a flourish.

"We will talk about this when you are sober."

"Thank you for finding him Bianca." I turned to her and glared.

"I know it all Bianca." I mouthed to her as my mother dragged me off.


	10. Chapter 10

"What am I going to do with you?" My mother chastised me. I sat slumped on the worn couch.

"You aren't the same caring Adam I know, you've turned into an angry monster. You fight your brother, now some random guy?" She sounded disappointed and I couldn't blame her, I screwed up again.

"Give me your license." I turned to her shocked.

"What!" I shouted.

"You can't be trusted Adam. I talked to Mrs. Coyne and in a few moments Eli will be here to take you to Fiona's." I stood and went to the window.

"No. I won't go. She doesn't want me." My mother turned me gently so I stared into her brown eyes.

"You know better than anyone, you know how to help her. I know deep down you are scared but when have you ever backed down Adam? You are giving up in Fiona when she needs you the most. The Adam I know would be camped out of her room right now, waiting for the chance." It was a wake up call, that I was sending my life spiraling out of control, that I was leaving the one I loved.

"She is having its child." My mother sent me a stern glare.

"And? It is a part of Fiona." Eli came in the house and my mother handed him a bag. I sighed and when we got into the morty I just stared out the window. We arrived at the apartment complex and I was angry with Eli for making me do this.

"Thanks for nothing Bro." I slammed the door and he yelled out the window.

"Grasshopper one day you will thank me." I walked up to her door and knocked on the door, her mother answered.

"Come in Adam." I shouldered my bag and walked in. I sat down on the couch and looked longingly down the hall to her room. Her mother sat next to me.

"I had a long talk with your mother." I nodded.

"I know." She took my hand and looked me square in the eye.

"I know you feel responsible but it isn't your fault, it was Owens." I shook my head.

"Owen only wanted her because I have her."

"If you believe that then you aren't as smart as I believed you to be." I nodded and moved from the couch to her door. I knocked tentatively.

"Hey Fiona." I stood in the door way as she stared blankly off to the side.

"Come in shut the door." I shut the door and sat on the desk edge.

"You won't even come near me." She turned to me with tears in her eyes.

"Do you want me to? I am just trying to make you as comfortable as possible." She nodded and I went to her bed and sat next to her holding her.

"I've missed you princess." Tears were in her eyes as I held her. She wasn't done up or fancy looking but to me she was still beautiful.

"I am not your princess." I just held her tighter.

"Nothing will ever stop you from being my princess." She drew from my embrace and stood. I stood with her.

"How could you want me? I am so broken, so ugly." She kept shouting at me I knew this was her way of getting the anger out just like I took it out on Drew.

"I was the same way seven months ago. You believed in me, to me you are not ugly but the most beautiful woman I know." She shook her head.

"I knew you would say that its all lies. I am having that bastards child how can you love me?" I stepped closer to her and she started beating on my chest.

"How can you love me now?" She started sobbing and I held her close stroking those brown curls I love.

"How can I not, you are so strong. You were there for me when I wanted to end it. I will be there for you no matter your decision whether you keep this child or end it. Fiona I know I love you, I know I've screwed up not being here for you. But I promise you from here on out I will never leave you. Never." I spoke sincere and she pulled back and got a good look at me.

"You've been fighting." I nodded not wanting to lie to her.

"I fought Drew."

"Why?" I sat down with her and held her hand gently.

"I was angry wanted to kill Owen, I stayed away because you didn't want me. I just got fed up with waking up. Fed up that I had no outlet to remove the pain and anger. So we fought." She traced my fat lip and I shrugged.

"I don't want you to fight." I nodded.

"I wont, I am better now. I'm going to help you get better to." She shook her head.

"There is no better for me." Her out look was so down, my Fiona the one I knew. I wasn't so sure that she would ever be ok. She was bitter and angry but I hoped with time she would warm.

"Yes there is, there is a life with me." I looked deep into her grayish eyes. Things were far from being Ok, but getting her just to talk to me was the first step.

"No there isn't. Can you go I want to be alone." I nodded and stood.

"I will always be there for you princess." I stood at the door way and watched her curl into her self. I sighed angrily and went to lay on the couch. I must of fallen asleep because the next thing I know is I am being covered with a blanket. I rolled over and fell asleep.


	11. Chapter 11

Her mother kept bringing her meals but every night after school I camped my self out on the couch. I never entered her room, and she hadn't asked for me to come in. She had to come to terms on her own and deal with what has happened. I had gotten to know her brother and mother. Her father stopped in but gave up when he was hopeless at getting through to her. I was watching the television when her mother came out. I looked up and she shook her head no. I just sighed.

"She will come around." I shook my head.

"I don't know what to do any more. Mrs. Coyne I love Fiona with my heart, she is my everything." Her mother smiled and sat down next to me.

"She feels the same way but right now its hard for her." I looked down at my hands.

"I know whats it like to be disgusted with your body." I pulled up my sleeve and showed her the burns. Then I showed her the ones on my side that almost took my life.

"I.." She was at a loss for words.

"Fiona saved me and I want to do the same for her. I used the burns to rid my self of anything female with me."

"Did you ever think of transitioning?" I nodded.

"Its out of the question right now. There isn't enough money and my mother isn't to keen on it. She has just come to terms her daughter is gone. In time maybe."

"If you ever need help, I will be more than willing." I nodded and stood.

"I have to try." She smiled and let me go. I knocked on the door and she looked up.

"Your still here?" I nodded.

"Haven't left, except for school."

"How is everyone?" I went and sat down at the other end of the bed.

"Worried about you, me especially. I love you Fiona, you know that right." She nodded and looked away.

"What happens with us if I don't abort? I have only a few days left to decide." I moved so I was next to her and I gently took her hand.

"I will be with you no matter what. You can keep it then give it away or end it. Or raise it. I will be with you and I wont abandon you Fiona." She nodded.

"I know its his child and it will never be ours but its also apart of me. I can't kill another part of me." I nodded we both had tears in our eyes.

"It seems you have made your decision." She nodded.

"I want to keep the baby." I smiled at her and kissed her cheek. She sighed.

"I've been thinking a lot." I just nodded for her to continue.

* * *

Well here goes nothing, I told him what I feared and he hasn't ran yet. He was being so supportive.

"I know I love you but I know it will be so long before I want to be intimate and I know we were close before." He smiled and it made me smile, it felt odd and awkward on my face.

"I can wait a life time for that chance with you, even if it never comes I will always love you." His words were sincere. I reached over and pulled the photographs out, I handed them to him.

"This is what I was doing for you." He looked them over when I felt and looked beautiful.

"I don't feel like that woman anymore." He looked like a light went off in his head. He bolted from the room and I followed knowing something was up. He grabbed his camera and then spun me around in a dance move, I felt light hearted and laughed. He snapped his camera. I tried to take it from him but he kept taking shots and keeping it just out of my reach. He kept running around and my mother was smiling at us along with Declan. Then he tripped over the arm of the couch and I fell on top of him. The position was so familiar, I stood quickly and went to lock my self in my room. I heard the breaking sound of plaster and sighed.

* * *

I punched the wall cursing my stupidity, one step forward and three back. I looked at the photographs and they were of the same Fiona, she was just hidden and scared. I turned to Declan who threw me a bag of ice.

"I will repair the wall." She shook her head and just placed a picture over it.

"No harm done." I looked at my swelling hand.

"I tried. I guess I will come back maybe not. I think I will go home for a few though." I left the camera for her and made my way home. I entered the door and Drew gave me a hug.

"How you doing Adam?" I sighed and showed him my hand. He rolled his eyes and went to grab the things to bandage it up.

"Mom I'm home." I walked into the kitchen to see my mother cooking over the stove. The smell of that familiar Spanish food I loved made my mouth water.

"Hey what are you doing back?" I shrugged.

"Needed to get away." Drew came down and wrapped my hand I was grateful when it went numb.

"What did you do?"

"Punched the wall, I got her laughing and looking like the Fiona I knew then we fell and she reverted back." I sat down with my family and dug into the comfort food that I loved when I got a great idea.

"Dad do you still have that old stuff from Gracie?" He nodded and we made our way to the attic.

"Whats with wanting this stuff son?"

"Its the only way I know left to get through to Fiona, is to open up about the old me." He nodded and handed me a photograph album and a few other things.

"Son, I know you are trying your hardest and that you will get through to her, love heals all." I smiled and hugged my father before moving to my room and grabbing the old big t-shirt that Fiona used to wear and loved. She said it smelled like me and that to her smelt like home. I walked back to her house and saw her brother was only out in the living room.

**A.N- Sorry for the long wait, I have been caught up with my school's play and have had rehearsals and shows. but after this weekend I should be back to regular updates. :)**


	12. Chapter 12

"Hey sit down for a minute." I sat down next to her brother who was actually a cool guy.

"I wanted to thank you for what your doing for Fiona. When I go in and talk to her she often talks about you. She is happy with you and it warms me that someone is there for my twin." I nodded to him.

"I wouldn't leave her, she didn't leave me." He sighed and looked at the things I brought.

"What is that?"

"The last resort to get through to her. Show her that life can change." He smiled and I stood walking to her room, the door was closed and I knocked her mother answered.

"She is changing."

"Give this to her?" I handed her the old t-shirt and she took it knowing where I was going with this and I waited until her mother stepped out, I walked in and Fiona was dressed in the shirt smelling it.

"You remembered." I laughed.

"Of course I did." I went and sat next to her on the bed.

"Whats that?" She pointed to the book I held in my hands and taking a deep breath I answered her.

"Its my past." She laid her head on my shoulder and I snaked my arm around her holding her close.

"Is that Ok?" She nodded on my shoulder and I opened the book. I flipped to the beginning and to the point where I slowly transformed into Adam.

"I changed, you can change your life to."

"I'm scared." I kissed the top of her head and let her thumb through the book.

"I am here and I will make sure your safe." I felt her drift off to sleep and I just let her sleep on my shoulder. I placed the book next to me and looked at the last photograph of us. I just sat there stroking her side and let her rest near me. Her mother came in and when I tried to leave she gabbed hold of me. I began to panic. But her mother just sighed and whispered.

"Stay there, she will be Ok till morning." I nodded and kissed Fiona's head again.

"I am right here Fi, I am not leaving." I whispered to her and just let her sleep.

* * *

I woke and was next to someone, I began to panic and saw it was Adam.

"Its alright babe, nothing happened." He looked so sure and I was scared as hell. I looked us over and saw we were fully dressed I sighed in relief I hated this.

"Sorry Adam." I looked down as if I was ashamed. I wondered if I would ever see my old self.

"Its alright Fiona." He lifted my chin and was staring into my eyes and I knew where this was going, he leaned forward and I met him. Our lips caressed in a soft gentle kiss. I pulled away with a smile on my face. He was grinning, it was the Adam I loved.

"Want to try getting out of the room today? Go for a walk with me?" I looked out the window and it was crystal clear day. I just nodded and moved to the bathroom, I saw him leave my room. I walked out and turned to my closet, anything I wore I felt like it would give me away. I pulled my robe on and saw Adam drying his hair and in a binder. He looked up shocked and froze like a deer in head lights.

"Can you help me?" His eyes darted everywhere and I knew we were alone.

"Sure." He manged to squeak out. He followed me into my room.

"I don't know what wear, it seems like everything I own will make people see right through me." He nodded knowing how that was and riffled through my clothes till he handed me a few things.

"Get changed and come out when you are ready." He left and I pulled on the cami and the button up. I left a few buttons undone and pulled on a loose pair of jeans and flats. I moved from the room and saw him looking in the hall mirror fully dressed trying to fix his hair. I waited till he noticed me and when he turned he had a smile on his face.

"You look beautiful." His words now in turn made me smile. I wondered how warm it was out. He took a light spring jacket and held it out for me to put on.

"If you get warm you can take it off." He was casual in a pair of dark sweats and his t-shirt. He slipped on his black hoodie and took my hand.

* * *

She was nervous as we made the way from the condo. I walked with her back to my house I knew the only one home was Drew. She looked at me curiously.

"I figured I would make you breakfast and then we could continue our walk." I loved seeing that small shy smile on her face it made me happy and hopeful that one day it would be that confident smile. She walked into the kitchen with me and I placed her coat on a chair. I moved to grab all the ingredients for torrijas, she would love this bread pudding especially if I made it the way my mother did. It was a holiday favorite. I walked over with two bowls of it and handed one to her she looked at it skeptical.

"Its good try it." My brother came bounding down the stairs and he was rubbing his face.

"Mmm. Mom did you make the torrijas again?" He opened his eyes and came faced with my smirk. He was in nothing but a pair of shorts. His mouth dropped open and then he went to grab a shirt which was odd but I was grateful of it in front of Fiona.

"So I take it you cooked Adam?"

"Some on the stove for you Drew." He grabbed him self some and came to sit with Fiona and I.

"Just as good as mom, your such a good little cook in the kitchen. I guess mom teaching you was a good thing." I was aggravated by my brothers words.

"Why is that a good thing Andrew?" I challenged him. He just kept shoveling food into his mouth. I finished my bowl and as I walked up the stairs to my room I hit the back of his head hard.

I was picking up things in my room since it had been close to two weeks since I had stayed here. I grabbed a few comics and knew I had to hang with Eli later since I had only seen him briefly at school. I heard a knock on my door and I turned to see Fiona.

"Hey." I said turning back to putting things away.

"You aren't going to stay over any more are you?" I looked to her and saw she looked scared.

"Tonight I figured to have a guy night with Eli. Leave you with Holly J to have a girls night. Unless you don't want me to." She crossed the room and hugged me I held her tight.

"It will be fine but can I call you?" I looked down at her gray eyes and smiled.

"Any time you need me you can call me Fiona." She smiled.

"I do believe we were going to continue our walk?" I took her hand and led her from the room.


	13. Chapter 13

We were driving to his house and I was feeling bad about a few weeks ago when I yelled at him.

"Hey Eli?" He looked at me and smirked.

"Yeah Adam."

"I'm sorry for the other week." He started laughing and I glared at him which only added to the effect.

"Oh the sweet sound of me being correct." I started laughing by now and it felt good to get away from the gloom that Fiona had. Not that I didn't love her just from time to time I had to get away.

"How is she really?" I shrugged and turned to look out the window.

"I don't know. One minute its a step forward and then two back. I feel like its going no where. The only thing that's changing is she is keeping the baby." I looked down at my hands.

"Are willing to stick around? Because if your not you got back out now when it is early."

"I don't know. I don't want to lose her, I love her. But I can't be what she wants. Hell I don't even know what she wants anymore. I don't even know if she still loves me." We pulled up to my house and I looked at him curiously.

"Well I figured a party at casa Torres would be better." I was in shock.

"My mother agreed to this?" He shrugged his shoulders.

"Drew and I had to work hard for it." I laughed and it was sure going to be a fun night. I know Eli was watching my moves.

* * *

I sat on my bed waiting for Holly J. I looked around my room and saw that it had been cleaned again when I was in the shower. I heard a knock and got up. I opened the door and hugged Holly J.

"Hey you look great!" I moved from the door and let her in, behind her I saw Clare. We had become friends when she saw Adam was in love with me. That felt like a lifetime ago though.

"I didn't know you were coming." I went and hugged her.

"Yeah Adam wanted to make sure you had some friends over tonight." I smiled he did care.

* * *

It was down pouring out, we had gotten bored a few hours back and we were just sitting around now.

"KC, is there any pizza left?" My brother asked, KC just opened the box and shook his head the six of us went through five pizzas and I was so full. I felt my phone vibrate thinking it was Fiona calling an excused my self from the room.

"Adam this isn't over, I know she is having my kid." What the hell was he doing out of jail!

"Stay away from her Owen." I kept it in a whisper I didn't want my brother knowing.

"Why? So you can play daddy? I get what I want in the end and I will have her." I shut my phone and called Holly J.

"Adam why are you calling?" She said.

"Shh I don't want Fiona knowing its me." Its just Sav I heard her say to what sounded like Clare.

"Whats going on?"

"Owen is out of jail."

"No. He was on trial."

"Someone must of posted bail, he is coming for Fiona. Don't let anyone in."

"Alright." I hung up and went into the living room I didn't want all the guys to worry.

"Eli, Drew can I see you for a moment." They stood leaving the rest of the guys engrossed in the television.

"Owen is out of jail, he is going after Fiona. I have to be there, I won't let anything happen to her again." Surprisingly Drew was the first one to grab his keys.

"Eli stay here with the guys, he is friends with Bianca and will go for her to. I will take Adam to Fiona on the way. Just tell them that Fiona needed Adam and I am taking him, don't let Owen in." Eli nodded and my brother rushed from the house and threw me the keys. I slipped in his truck and the rain was coming in sheets that it was so hard to see. I pulled up to the apartments and my brother took off as I was about to go in the condo I was jumped.

* * *

I wondered if Adam was going to come. Fiona looked happier than I had seen her in a while and if Owen came around it would shatter her. She had only the slightest bump she was going to be one of those that kept their figure and by the end of the pregnancy she would go right back to her old size. Fiona came back and her brother was away with some new girl. It made me slightly angry but I was with Sav he could do what he wanted with whom he wanted. I had told Clare and she worried for Eli but I knew the guys could take him it was us I worried about. The three of us stood no chance against him.

* * *

I was thrown against a wall and standing over me was Owen and two guys I didn't recognize. They picked me up and pinned me to the wall I struggled but they held tight. I thought my life was going to end when I saw the flash of silver and knew Owen had pulled a knife. It made me think back of the night Eli was almost stabbed and Mr. Simpsons reaction since he had know another student a few years before me get stabbed to death. All I knew was that all the good ones die by the knife. My hair was plastered to my forehead and I was soaked to the bone meaning that my clothes stuck to my cursed womanly curves. Owen ripped off my jacket and then took the knife and tore everything away so I was left in a sports bra. I was glad he didn't notice the tears among the rain. His breath was nothing but cold near my ear.

"I knew you would make a hot girl Gracie." He pulled away and I felt the knife at my wrist. Blood mingled with rain and my screams were being drowned out by the thunder. They let me go and I slumped on the ground. I felt a kick to my side and they were gone. I looked down at my arm where the word 'freak' was now permanently carved into my arm. I stood ignoring the pain knowing that I had to get medical help but my phone was dead from all the rain. I knocked on the door and collapsed.


	14. Chapter 14

I opened the door at the sound of a thud. Holly J came rushing out and stopped when she heard me scream. There laid my Adam, his arm and body was covered in blood, his clothing was missing leaving him in a sports bra. I got on my knees and cradled his head in my lap.

"Adam. Wake up. Call 911." I yelled at Holly J who stood their frozen. I moved his hair from his forehead and tried to get him to open those blue eyes I loved.

"Adam you can't leave, I need you. I love you. Adam." I kept trying to wake him and the tears I just let flow, who did this to him who was still after us. The paramedics took him away and Clare went with him.

"Who did this!" I roared at Holly J I was furious, the rape was one thing. I hate how I felt and I needed to be there for Adam since he had been there for me.

"My guess is Owen." I went cold at the mention of that name.

"What do you mean Holly J?" She looked guilty.

"Adam called me a few hours ago, Owen called him he got out of Jail." I ran to the door and shut it locking it. I slid down the door, if he got to Adam that easy he was looking for me.

"He is looking for me isn't he?" She just nodded.

"What does he want? He already had me." I was scared and my prince was no longer able to protect me leaving me vulnerable.

"He wants more, I don't know. Only Adam did, I figured he would come here. Owen must of expected it."

"Which means if we leave he will have another go, but if I don't go Adam could die and I wouldn't be there. I promised him I would be there." I held my head in my hands. I heard Holly J on the phone.

"Hey Declan, Eli and the rest of the guys are on there way to come get us. I will get you to Adam Fiona." I nodded but just rocked my self. I knew he wanted what was growing inside me the one last thing that tied me to him. I felt my brother help me up and into the car the next thing I knew I was looking at a sleeping Adam. I turned to my mother and hugged her. He looked so frail and broken, we really were misfits united. I saw his mother come over to me and I broke down, she wouldn't be worrying about her son if we were not together.

"Fiona I do not blame you for what happened to Adam, it is that sick twisted Owen. I will make sure he is put away for as long as I can get him." She hugged me but I felt numb. I walked into the room with her and looked at his arm which was stitched up the word 'freak' was clearly written for the rest of his life. I just ran my fingers through his hair and his eyes fluttered open I felt a sob choke me.

"Adam, your awake." He just groaned and I pulled back.

"What the hell? Where am I?" He looked frantic his mother calmed him and I knew how he felt four months ago.

"Adam you were attacked can you remember anything." He jolted upright.

"Wheres Fiona, he was after her and the child." I moved from behind his mother and into his view.

"I am right here, I am fine Adam, the baby is fine." He sat up and his mother pushed him down.

"Let up, I want to kill that bastard. I want to write a million things on him for him to bare. Like homicidal for one. I want that knife he had down his throat." I was shocked at his words but his mother calmed him.

"Adam, you know what will happen if you do that? You lose Fiona, everything and will be in jail."

"He would never hurt her again. I am done dealing with him." His face contorted in pain then he broke down and I saw tears fall from his eyes. I went to the other side of his bed and sat next to him.

"Adam, I am going to need you. I love you and if you fight him your mother is right you will lose me." He looked away.

"I don't want him alive."

"You think I do? Killing him is giving him the easy way out for what he has done. In jail he has to relive everything every day and he will get chewed up. Killing him is stupid when he can suffer what he made us suffer." He nodded but I knew this wasn't the end of it.

* * *

I knew I promised Fiona I wouldn't fight him but I had been watching Owen; he was smashed right now. They had let me out of the hospital and I knew I had to get revenge for all he had done, he was alone the last one in the ravine. I walked up to him and slammed my fist into his face. His fist came flying out catching my jaw.

"I will make you pay bastard." I saw the knife he used on me and kicked it away. I took my brothers hunting knife from my back pocket and pressed it to his throat.

"Ever come near her or me again Owen and you will be dead. Don't tell anyone of this." I saw fear in his eyes and I knew the blade at his throat scared him.

"Do it, kill me you know you want to." I just pressed it harder.

"Your not worth the murder. Because of you I will forever bear the mark of freak. Stay away from Fiona and the child." I brought my foot to his groin and with a swift kick he was doubled over. I stood and wiped the trickle of blood from my lip. I made my way to Fiona's condo.


	15. Chapter 15

I walked in and saw she was watching a movie, Holly J was with her I snuck up behind her and tapped her on the shoulder.

"Adam! You scared me half to death." I smiled and gave her a light kiss. She looked at my face and touched my lip.

"You've been fighting again."

"No I haven't." I told her sincerely, it wasn't a fight at all.

"Don't lie to me! How did you get that bloody lip?" I looked at my hands.

"May of saw a smashed Owen in passing and hit him once." She stood angry.

"I warned you no fighting. I can't deal with this, I don't need the stress. Adam I can't deal with the angry you, it scares me and I don't want to be afraid of you. I love you but I can't keep doing this. We can't. I'm sorry but were done." I stood there numb and I felt my chest constrict.

"So what I can't protect you? I am just supposed to sit around and let us get hurt? How much more am I supposed to take before I can give it back." I shouted at her.

"You can protect me... could. But I didn't ask you to. All I needed was for you to love me, not to fight for me. Violence only gets worse." I ran a hand through my hair.

"So I just have to put up with bearing the mark of freak for the rest of my life? You have to bear a child for the rest of yours. You expect me just to sit around and do what you ask? What am I your butler? You used to love that I protected you."

"But I don't want to have to worry that one day you will be six feet under." She shouted at me, and I knew she had a point but I was one to never back down.

"But I knew if I died then it would be for you. I am tired of the pain life keeps bringing me. It never gets easier only worse. You learn to fight back, one day you will see."

"No because I fight with lawyers not my fists."

"One day not even the lawyers will save you. I guess love is nothing but a lie, and in the end you end up alone. I knew I should of never taken that second chance, I knew I should of ended it." I walked from the apartment angry that the one thing I loved, wanted to help was done with me. It was as if the color was drained from an already gray sky leaving everything white.

* * *

I slumped in the couch, I had just said goodbye to the one I loved. The one I trusted with my heart. Holly J tried to come comfort me but I just shrugged her off.

"What did I do?"

"The thing you had to, to keep your self and baby safe." I shook my head.

"I love him Holly J. Why was I so stupid to do so." She sat down and sighed.

"You aren't stupid, both you and Adam are going through things. Maybe it is best to break, maybe in time you can give it another go." I shook my head.

"He won't take me back, I just have never seen him so angry."

"How would you feel in his shoes, the one person he found that will love him was tormented by a man that wrote how he feels when going through one of his stunts as you know forever on his arm. If he felt undesirable before now he is undesirable number one. He has a right to be angry and he has a right to get back at Owen." I looked down at my slight bulge four going on five months ago we were happy, in love and now life had tore us apart and I had never felt so empty. I felt bare like the world was pouring sand on my chest killing me with each new granule.

* * *

I walked in the rain, wishing it was acid to burn me and my tears away. I kept my head low, and I knew that what ever I had done had yet again screwed me over. I looked down at my arm and knew I was a freak, who would ever love me? Why do I continue to try and live when it is shown to me time and time again no one... will ever love me.

**A.N- I am ending the story here and starting the other part to this four part series, if you havent read turbulence I suggest it. Adam and Fiona action is not over the story will continue in the last part of the series. Watch out for Astray.**


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